Wow it’s 2015 and I am forgiven how do I know because I learnt to forgive others. Yes the scripture clearly states
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15 NLT)
Well it began many years ago just under 8 years. I met a guy and at first I wasn’t to sure about him but I started liking him and pretty quickly we were living together playing house. Oh how I went through some stuff with him, but I was determine to make it work. Remember I said (I) was determine to make it work. That clearly shows God had no input in my relationship. As I had previously had a failed relationship with my first children’s father. I didn’t want this one to fail so fell in love with the thought of being in love, but realised years later I wasn’t in love at all. Through out the few years we were together on and off. We had more downs than ups. From cheating, to fighting, to cussing each other you name it and my children were witness to alot. We had 3 children together and by the second child I knew this relationship wasn’t going very far. As the last straw for me was he had a baby with someone else. But you said you had 3 children yes indeed we did because me being so venerable and desperate to try and make a relationship that surely wasn’t for me work. I went back with him again with my lustfull desires and ended up pregnant again. I so wanted an abortion I told my pastor he said you cant replace sin with sin. This time I knew I was definently doing it on my own. No matter how many children I had it just wasn’t going to work. You can’t make a man a father if he doesn’t want to be one. When I was pregnant with my last son, it was the best pregnancy I had. I drew closer to God, I was stronger and to my surprise as well as being pregnant with my son, God birthed a ministry he wanted me to have called Desire to Inspire. Oh how I felt favoured by the Lord as I got stronger things became easier I couldn’t believe it after all these years I didn’t want him around anymore. After I had my son he came back for a while and we fell back into old habits for a month or 2 but after that I decided enough was enough. You see it was a process I needed to go through before it was completely out of my system. Due to us not being able to get on we ended up in a solicitor battle and resulted in us meeting at a contact centre, for him to visit the children. It was such an inconvenience for me as I was working and going church my only day was Saturday to rest and every other Saturday I would wake up early and travel on the bus with our 3 children to this centre. Our time was only for 6 months and towards the last 2 months he just didn’t turn up. My thoughts were his other baby was due, yes I said it another baby he had with somebody else was due so he just didn’t come. I was extremely upset but knew God had greater plans. I knew this was it I felt it, I needed to solely depend on God to be a father and husband to me and my 5 children. You know that was the last day I heard from him for 2 years. He didn’t call, apologise, seek the children or me and you know what neither did I was fed up of chasing after someone who didn’t want to be a father. During those 2 years God did a work in me. I drew closer to Him and did all He asked of me. I moved house, started a college course in Business while working a job, moved to a new church, did another course and became a Special Needs Teaching assistant and got a car for free and paid when I was able too. Who would of thought God would do so much for me. How I love Him so much, but it didn’t end there. The moral of this story is to say, after much debating over the past 6 months I felt God was telling me to contact Him. I was like why should I, look what he did to us, he left us why should I call him he should call me my number was still the same all these years . However I can’t disobey my father so I decided after much debating and hearing so much about him I would call him. Yes I called him and told him I forgive you and it’s ok. The past is the past and let’s move forward. He was so shocked and was in tears but you know what as much as it was for him it was for me too. I entered the new year free from bitterness and unforgivenes. I share this to say forgive others so you may also be forgiven. Forgiven people comes so easy to me now and sets me free from bondage. Forgiveness is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
It’s early days but at least he knows he can call when ever and I forgive him. He doesn’t have to stay away anymore. This has set me free and I know God has great plans for me I just needed to let go of his errors, stop making it affect me and move forward. That I did…..